I find that I am unreasonably bothered by those reality television shows where one person will date twenty members of the opposite sex and narrow it down each week until they find “The one”. It’s an absurd concept that has no practical purpose in the real world.
Sure, there are people who do this, both men and women, but what are they really accomplishing? How can you possibly see this as a precursor to a real relationship? If anything, it may be a great tutorial on how to become a cheater or a player. You might be able to justify it by saying that you wouldn’t buy pants without trying on a couple pairs first. But pants don’t have feelings and people are not a commodity that can be bought and sold.
I had a friend who decided that he was ready to settle down and find a wife. He had just turned thirty and his plan was to date six women in hopes that one of them would make a perfect partner. He ended up finding himself in a rotation pattern where one or two women would drop out of the running and he would have to replace them with a new contestant. His theory sounded good, dating six women would make him six times more likely to find a wife. The reality was that dating six women made him six times more likely to NOT be taken seriously by six different women.
There’s nothing wrong with juggling but let’s face it, clowns juggle. If you are looking to have fun and not get serious then this may be a good way to accomplish that. But if you are actually dating with the intention of finding someone to share your life with, you might want to think about dating one person at a time. What message are you really sending by rationing out a small piece of your time to someone who your are treating like a pair of pants that will eventually end up in the garbage or at the thrift store?
[ There’s nothing wrong with juggling but let’s face it, clowns juggle. If you are looking to have fun and not get serious then this may be a good way to accomplish that. But if you are actually dating with the intention of finding someone to share your life with, you might want to think about dating one person at a time. What message are you really sending by rationing out a small piece of your time to someone who your are treating like a pair of pants that will eventually end up in the garbage or at the thrift store? ]
[ There’s nothing wrong with juggling but let’s face it, clowns juggle. ]
And bad people breathe.
Here’s why your theory doesn’t ALWAYS work in practical application.
I dated THREE women at once, earlier this year, because I was sick and tired of women who didn’t know what they wanted after a few weeks, to a month or more. I don’t like it when a woman who’s in her 40’s or 50’s wastes my time, because when all was said and done, she had/has this ILLUSION that she knows what she wants.
I was up front, and open with ALL of the 3 women, and I WAS seriously in search of a long term relationship. When one woman slapped me, and acted like a jerk, I got her out of my life. Her actions were uncalled for. When the other woman showed me that she had more issues than National Geographic, I ended my association with her.
And nearly 10 months later, I’ve been in a long term relationship, which has been with the remaining woman of the 3.
I got MUCH more than I bargained for. My G/F is the most loving, devoted and generous woman I’ve met in my lifetime. She’s happy, and so am I. WE made the right choices FOR US, and we agree that we did things the right way. Decisions were made along the way that reinforce our conclusions.
I firmly believe that a giver has to be with a giver. And we are.
But that is basically proving my point. You were dating three women at once because you expected failure. You may have been searching for a serious relationship (and congratulations for finding one) but you can’t say that you were taking all three women seriously if you had such low expectations of them from the beginning.
There is a very magnetic connection between givers and takers. It’s hard to shake that as it is a very easy trap to fall into.